Thinking about what happens after we die is not always easy. For some people, it brings up grief or memories of losing someone close. Others find comfort in knowing that their wishes will be understood.
Whatever your feelings, you can take these questions at your own pace. You do not need to have everything figured out. You can express a preference, give specific instructions, or leave decisions to someone you trust.
If you would like to learn more before answering, see this article.
Why these questions matter
After someone dies, family members often have to make arrangements within a few days. They may be grieving, uncertain about what the person wanted, or trying to make decisions together when they do not agree.
Leaving guidance can ease that burden. Your family will have a better understanding of what matters to you, and the person making the arrangements will know where to begin.
How this fits into your estate plan
Your attorney can prepare a document called a Disposition of Remains. It records your wishes for what happens to your body after death. It also gives the person you name the legal authority to carry them out.
Without one, state law decides who has that authority, usually a spouse or registered domestic partner first and then close family. An unmarried partner has no authority unless you name them.
Your answers to these questions help your attorney prepare that document.
How you would like your remains cared for
The first question asks what you would like done with your body after death.
Burial and cremation are familiar choices, but they are no longer the only ones. Washington and Oregon also allow newer methods, including some that people choose for environmental reasons.
Here is what the choices mean:
- I would like to be buried: Traditional burial, generally in a casket at a cemetery.
- I would like to be cremated: The body is reduced to bone fragments using heat. The remains, commonly called ashes, can be kept, buried, or scattered.
- I’m unsure, but I want something green or sustainable: You would prefer an environmentally conscious option but want your agent to choose the particular method.
- Alkaline hydrolysis (also called green cremation): A process that uses water and an alkaline solution instead of flame. Your family receives remains similar to cremated ashes.
- Natural organic reduction (also called human composting): A process that transforms the body into soil over several weeks. The resulting soil can be returned to the land or kept by your family.
- I would like to be buried, but only with green burial practices: Burial using biodegradable materials, such as a simple wooden casket or shroud, without conventional embalming.
- I’m unsure, my agent can decide: You would rather leave the choice to the person you appoint.
You can be specific about the method you prefer, or describe what matters most to you. For example, you may care more about the environmental impact than about which particular method is used.
A prepaid funeral or services plan
Some people arrange and pay for funeral, cremation, or burial services in advance through a funeral home, cemetery, or other provider. This is sometimes called a prepaid plan.
If you have made these arrangements, it is helpful to record where the plan is held. Otherwise, your family may not know it exists and could end up paying for services you have already purchased.
If you answer Yes, the questionnaire will ask for the name of the funeral home, cemetery, or company that holds your plan. If you answer No, there is nothing more to provide.
Where you would like your remains placed
This question asks what should happen to your remains after burial, cremation, or another method of disposition. You might already have a cemetery plot, want to be placed near family members, or have a meaningful place in mind.
The choices include:
- At a cemetery, including in a plot I own: Burial in a cemetery. You can provide information about a plot you already own.
- At a cemetery in the family plot: Burial in a plot reserved for your family.
- At a national or state veterans’ cemetery: Burial in a veterans’ cemetery, if eligible. Some spouses and dependents may also qualify.
- In a mausoleum, including in a crypt I already own: Placement in an above-ground structure that holds caskets in spaces called crypts.
- In a columbarium, including in a niche I already own: Placement of cremated remains in a small space, called a niche, designed to hold an urn.
- Cremated remains buried in a cemetery plot or family grave: Burial of your ashes, often alongside family members.
- Cremated remains scattered or placed at a meaningful place: For example, a favorite beach, garden, or mountain, where permitted.
- My agent decides only who receives my remains: Rather than choosing a resting place, you want your agent to decide who will receive your remains.
- Something else (I will describe it): You can describe another arrangement in your own words.
- I’m unsure, my agent can decide: You prefer to leave the decision to your agent.
If you already own a plot, crypt, or niche, include whatever information you have about its location. That can save your family time later.
Your funeral or memorial
A funeral or memorial gives family and friends an opportunity to remember someone and support one another.
A funeral generally takes place soon after death and may include the body. A memorial can take place later, often without the body present, and can be as formal or informal as the family wishes.
You may have particular wishes about a service, or you may prefer to leave the planning to your family.
The questionnaire gives you several choices:
- With military honors appropriate to my service: If you are eligible, military honors may include a flag presentation and the playing of Taps.
- Something else (I will describe it): You can describe the gathering or service you would like, including any traditions, readings, music, or other details that matter to you.
- I’m unsure, my agent can decide: You would prefer your agent to make the arrangements.
- I do not want a funeral or memorial: You do not want a formal service arranged for you.
A few details, such as a favorite song, a religious or cultural tradition, or a preference for a small gathering, can be helpful.
The person who carries out your wishes
Someone will need to make arrangements after your death. In your estate plan, this person is called your Disposition of Remains Agent.
Your agent may work with the funeral home or other provider, make decisions about your remains, and arrange any funeral or memorial you have requested.
This person does not have to be the same person who makes medical decisions for you or handles your estate. Those are different responsibilities.
If your questionnaire includes a Fiduciaries page, you can name your Disposition of Remains Agent there.
If you are completing the questionnaire with a spouse or partner
Each of you answers these questions separately. You may have different wishes about your remains, your resting places, or your memorials.
Your answers do not need to match.
Anything else you would like your attorney to know
At the end of the page, you will have space to add anything that was not covered by the questions.
You might mention a family tradition, a particular place, a favorite reading or song, or a concern about how your wishes will be carried out.
You can also use this space to raise questions for your attorney.
If your questionnaire looks different Some versions of the questionnaire use a shorter set of checkboxes for final arrangements. They cover prepaid arrangements, cemetery plots, military honors, and appointing someone to handle your remains. The same guidance applies. Select the choices that fit your circumstances.